Talking Bonnie Ronnie
© 2001 Jesse Slokum
Well, I was deep in meditation one night
When my mind was struck by a terrible sight
It was Ronald Reagan, President of all the people
Glowing, like lightning striking a steeple
He was alone in the Oval Office
Wondering out aloud
What will all those re-runs look like
With Russian sub-
Titles?
Made me think, do they that sat him so high in the saddle
Really think of us as a herd of cattle?
They sold him to us, like he was the Marlboro Man
Got us glued to the tube, waiting for the next episode of the plan
"Now see here folks, this is an "Economic Pie"
It's on my desk, not up in the sky
But there's a slice for everybody
Hey, Nancy, Go get the Ready
Whip!
Well, just yesterday, I met an old college chum
I started to shake his hand, he said, "God - you smell like a bum!"
Then he began to rant about the Bible, according to Robert Welch
Made me feel like I'd be as welcome in heaven as a beer Belch
At Charlie boy's coronation
And if that wasn't enuff,
He got up to go in a huff,
When I asked him if he considered himself
THE Moral
Majority
So, I shouted after him, "Was John Birch a member too?"
He said, "Wait'll you see what we've got planned for you!
Greetings, pilgrim, we've ended your search
Welcome to Uncle Sam's big supermarket church..."
He said, "You know, I talked to Brother Jerry,
Down in Lynchburg, just the other day.
He said, he'd gave his whole-hearted blessings
To that new-fangled neutron bomb..."
I said, "Oh, will that make it fall...
WELL?
As a matter of fact, I got a better plan yet
It's the final solution for the national debt
We'll talk to all the world leader's, I'm sure they'll agree
To give Ronnie permission to turn the Doomsday Key
After all, if we blow this world all way
There won't be anybody left at home
On bill collection day
So long, America,
Howdy, Sirius B
Oh no, you've got Bilderbergers,
Here, too
(The future did indeed look bleak in the eighties!
I'm happy to see we survived the Reagan years,
At least long enough to see what Prescott Bush's
Grandson's got up his sleeve...)
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